Life Story
Still Waiting
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My life was never a fairy tale. I didn't have a very happy
childhood. I didn’t have a very happy life. All my
boyfriends left me after three months. I felt cursed. I
am twenty years old and I don’t know if the problem
lies with me or my family. All I know is that I have problems
with them and I have given them so much pain.
I was very sad with my life and I wasn’t thinking
properly. I met a guy who was introduced by a friend. After
a week, I got pregnant with his baby. My sad life became
sadder. My life became filled with darkness. I even asked
God for the reason for keeping me alive. Why had he not
taken my life away from me? I felt so worthless that I thought
I would be better off dying than to experience more pain.
The father of my baby doesn't love me and we got married
because my parents forced him to do so. I tried very hard
to gain his love for a year after marriage even though he
has plenty of girls and he often shows them off to me right
in my face.
One day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told him not
to come back as I didn't want him to stay with me again.
He did just that. I went back to college and tried to finish
my studies so that I can get a job to support my daughter.
I love my baby so much and I want to give her all the love
that I can even though I'm just a single parent. I was very
glad when I graduated from college. Ever since then, I dedicate
my life to my baby. That was two years and three months
after I got separated from the baby’s father. Deep
in my heart, I wish that one day, God will give me someone
who will love me for who I am, accept me, my baby, my past
and love me forever. I am always praying for that as I just
want to be happy.
On May 16th 2009, I logged on to MySpace and kept myself
online while I was cleaning my house. A guy named Rising
sent me a message telling me that he wants to know me better
and would like to get my number and email address so we
could talk. I thought there was no harm and agreed. However,
I did not take the guy seriously as his profile states that
he is from London and he is handsome like a model. To sum
it up, he is very gorgeous and I didn’t think he would
be interested in me. I gave him my email address and we
start chatting. He asked me if I could be his girlfriend.
I thought he was trying to play games with me. I hesitated
at first but decided to give it a try. I reminded myself
to set boundaries and not to get too serious as he might
just be toying with me. When we chatted the next day, he
told me he was very happy when I agreed to be his girlfriend.
The conditions are if I found out he’s just fooling
around and toying with me, the relationship will end. He
promised that he will be true to me.
Since that day, he has kept to his promise. I felt loved
even though our main form of communications was only through
chatting online, short text messages or phone calls. He
introduced me to his parents and I was able to talk to them
online. Both his parents were nice and sweet people. They
kept telling me how much their son like talking about me.
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